A Dirty Book is Rarely Dusty

2008-12-29T18:09:00.001-07:00

I was wondering how to work this new blog. Does anyone know how?

2008-12-29T18:08:00.001-07:00

Hello world!

Change

2008-03-31T07:18:00.003-07:00

Hello my faithful blog readers. It's been crazy busy here in Sedona. Tourists! And what little time I have, I spend writing, and unfortunately, neglecting you. I am trying to keep on top of things and as a result of making more time for you, I am downsizing. I belong to close to a dozen blog type sites and as of now, I am getting rid of some of the baggage.

For blogging, updates on life, etc. I will be posting to myspace:
http://www.myspace.com/crystaljessica

For stories that you may want to read I will be posting on blogger here:
http://adirtybookisrarelydusty.blogspot.com/

I am still in the process of getting all of my stories up and posted, but a few oldies but goodies are on there to get things started. This page is still a work in progress, but as I said, no time!

I will still be on facebook.com for those quick updates I don't have time to blog for.

Blam! Blam! Magazine

2008-03-27T11:34:00.005-07:00

It has come to my attention that there are a couple of girls in Seattle putting together a quarterly erotic mag called Blam! Blam!

"Porn isn't this negative, horrible thing, an it doesn't need to be demonized," says 31 year old Michelle Scifers, editor and co-creater with friend Jenna Leskela of women's sex 'zine Blam!Blam! "Sexuality is good, and feeling good is OK," the duo says in the April/May issu of BUST.

We all know my thoughts on porn. It is good. It is hot. It is fun. Where's my video camera? Lets go make some! Any volunteers?

The magazine offers insites into questions about sex not often seen in girly magazines like Cosmo. From my pursual of the web site it looks a lot alternative. My favorite. I can't wait to get my first copy and check it out.

2008-03-17T22:00:00.000-07:00

Flash Comments at WishAFriend.com

Check out my Slide Show!

2008-02-28T19:26:00.001-07:00

Spring Exploring

2008-02-28T18:43:00.002-07:00

Spring is here. Blue sky, sunshine, and hiking weather. At last the cold is over and today we took advantage of it by going for a hike on Jim Thompson trail. This trail is in an area of Sedona we hadn't visited before and is a real red rock hike. There is a steady gentle climb for the first half mile through a rocky path, but after that it levels out. You get amazing views of Tipdick rock, Elephant Rock and all of Sedona.

There were lots of streams made from run off since we have had a real wet winter. We found a great spot for a little lunch in the sun. After eating we climbed into this little ravine to catch running water and cool off. We both thought we could have worn shorts.

The air was so fresh and it was so great to spend some time outdoors enjoying nature.

Sedona Film Festival

2008-02-27T18:49:00.003-07:00

This week is the Sedona Film Festival so things are hopping here in Red Rock Country. The town is packed with movie goers hoping to catch a glimpse of a star and the next hit Indy film.

We went to see "The Tracy Fragments" which starred Ellen Page of "Juno" fame. We liked "Juno" when we saw that, especially Page's performance, and I must say she doesn't disappoint in this film either. She is a brilliant actress...the movie on the other hand was just weird cinamgraphicly. There were a lot of little screens within the big movie screen showing the same thing happening from different angles, which was kinda distracting. It was already a disturbing movie about dysfunctional family, Tracy in particular having some issues, and the weird cinematography really wasn't necessary. But it was definitely different.

Most of the films are Indy type and a little strange...or so I here. We aren't going to go see tons of movies, even though they are playing from nine in the morning until ten at night. They are showing a lot of documenties too. I do watch docs, but I don't think that we need to see them on the big screen.

There is a big tent in the Harkin's theater parking lot where from five to midnight there is live music, food, drinks. We popped in, but it was kinda weird and surreal. I don't really know how to explain it, but we left to go home and watch "Blue Harvest" which is the "Family Guy's" take on "Star Wars." It was a cute movie.

Booze bad, but Fun

2008-02-26T23:05:00.002-07:00

We drank too much. It's been a while sense we went to the bar with the only purpose was to be together and have a couple of drinks.

Shawn called and said his day sucked, and I thought he deserved a beer. So we walked over to Relics across the street to shoot some pool. There was no one there except for Rapheal the bartender. So we had shots of tequila, shot some very bad pool and shatted up our bartender. Margarita, fruity drink, beerrs for Shawn. More bad pool, more entertaining the bartender. I played pin ball, something I haven't done since I was in high school.

I really can't see straight and everything is hilarious and I love my husband. Sleep now.

Moon the other Night

2008-02-21T20:25:00.000-07:00

Shawn Day!

2008-02-20T21:08:00.001-07:00

A weekend away. Much needed and oh so fun. There was a food show in Phoenix so we decided to stay over and take in a little more than Sterns available food options. I hadn't been to a food show in at least a year or more and it was fun to see how much Shawn has grown. The last food show Shawn was kinda wandering around confused and this food show everybody knew his name. It was really amazing to watch him work and see the respect of others for him. I was so proud.

After the food show we went to see "Jumper" on an Imax screen. The movie was interesting, but it felt like there was so much more story that we weren't given. Guess I have to read the book. We then had a drink at the Yard House, home of lots of drafts beers...hundreds. Both the theatre and the bar were located in this sort of yuppy city. If you were so inclined to do so you could rent one of the trendy condos and never have to leave. Groceries, restaurants, clothing, movies, an attractive modern park...you never really needed to leave. It reminded me of the future where we all lived in apartments above Walmart, but fancier. Kinda creepy but at the same time attractive.

We had a room for the night at Fort McDowell Casino and Resort, which is a Radisson property, so we got a smokin' deal. Had a dinner at their four diamond restaurant, but have to say it was a bit disappointing. Service was sketchy and the food okay. We then gave each other twenty bucks to gamble with. I lost my twenty pretty quickly, but Shawn gained $40 so we broke even. Tried out those sleep number beds and I don't recommend them. Loud and weirdly deflating. Hmmm.

The next day after a recharge of pancakes and coffee from Denny's we drove through Scottsdale hitting all the department stores for Shawn day! Shawn's wardrobe needed a complete overhaul. The man never shops and when I try to find clothes for him they never fit properly because he doesn't try them on. So we got him shorts and jeans and shirts...and well, now he says he doesn't have to be embarrassed to go out in public. Man...I didn't know it was that bad! Get this, he claims he doesn't' like to roll his jeans. Come again? Doesn't-like-to-roll-his-jeans. Hmmm. I thought he loved that...never let me hem the damn things and now he says he doesn't want to roll them anymore. Will wonders never cease?

On the drive home the clouds and light were absolutely phenomenal and I got some killer shots, which I will be posting shortly. Overall it was an awesome weekend and I feel awesome!

Food Safety Guru!...Sorta

2008-02-18T19:36:00.002-07:00

I passed my food manager test! Had a score of 83...which I think is pretty good. Just glad the suspense is over!

No time to Eat

2008-02-17T07:25:00.003-07:00

Yesterday was hell. I have never had a 13 anda a 1/2 hour work day that did not include covering someone who called in sick. It was constant go, go, go. We sold out of rooms by noon, but our 3rd party reservaton system did not shut down so we were overbooking. We had to walk rooms...which means I found rooms at the ONLY other hotel that had any rooms and had to have the guest go there. When you have no rooms there is nowhere to put guests who are not happy with where they are staying, so that is not fun either. I got through it but I feel like I have been hit by a truck and am exhuasted.

May Every Day Be Valentine's Day for You!

2008-02-14T21:05:00.000-07:00

Isn't one Food Manager in the family enough?

2008-02-11T19:21:00.000-07:00

Today I took the food manager's training test. ARGHHHH! Why do I have to take the test, you might be wondering. Well, Sedona Real serves a continental breakfast in the morning and there needs to be a manager on duty who knows about this stuff. Apprarently, the assistant manger may not be around and I will have to get the job done.

Now I don't mind learning this, but I have NEVER worked in food and beverage before so the entire thing is new to me. I was given the training book two weeks ago and from the previous blog entry you can see I have been sicker than sick. Studying, while a top priority, has been very difficult. It does help that my husband is a chef and he can quiz me, but there are 80 multiple choice questions on this test.

Before the test we sat through a three hour power point presentation that sort-of went over everything that was suspposed to be on the test. The nerve breaker was the score sheet that looked exactly like the score sheet they gave me to take my SATS in high school. Shit. If that doesn't take you back to that awful nerve pulling day. The instructer even went through the step by step process of filling all the bubbles in to spell our names, just like I am so "fond" of remembering.

It was pretty easy to weed out the two answers it couldn't be, but when it came down to the final two...on some of these questions it was near the same answer, or both answers were right, but one of them was MORE right. Shit. I hate those types of questions!

Anyhow, I finished the exam and think it could go either way. I knew stuff, but I didn't know some stuff...so we will see. I have to wait three weeks to get the results.

Phlegm ridden Mess

2008-02-09T19:08:00.000-07:00

Drugs. I finally broke down and went to the doctor. He gave me drugs. ..:-) I just couldn't take it anymore. I have been sick for more than two weeks! First it was a cough, sore throat and chills. My skin was sensative. Ughh...then it seemed like it was going away. I thought yeah...and then my throat started killing me and it started all over again like I recaught my cold. Because of said sickness, I'm not sleeping because I am hacking all night. I can't concentrate.

You may wonder why I waited this long. I have no health insurance with the job switch so this is a big expense...Now, of course, Shawn is infected with my plague too. But thankfully, he doesn't seem to have it is bad as me.

I will take drugs now. Sleep please.

Rubber Sex to hit Shelves!

2008-01-30T07:54:00.000-07:00

Expect to find my tastey story "Lick of Pain" to arrive at your favorite naughty bookstore in the super sexy anthology Rubber Sex, this May! Or you can pre-order now at Amazon.com. Isn't this a great cover?

Other great authors to be included are:

The Dress by Kristina Wright

In a Single Bound by Shanna Germain

Rubber Necking by Alison Tyler

Slicker than Slik by Radclyffe

Stretching Logic by Jean Roberta

Tire Stud by Jeremy Edwards

Justine, in Latex by Lillian Ann Slugocki

Bathing Beauty by Andrea Dale

In The Middle by Jessica Lennox

Lick of Pain by Crystal Barela

How to Liven Up a Boring Party by Teresa Noelle Roberts

Sergeant Pepper by Rakelle Valencia

Tight Squeeze by Rachel Kramer Bussel

Butterfly's Kiss by Thomas S. Roche

Cinema Show by Elizabeth Coldwell

Exchanges by Stella Hunter-Smith

Rubber Party Virgin by Jay Starre

The Balloonatics by Gregory L. Norris

Breathing by Tenille Brown

Liberty?

2008-01-20T09:15:00.000-07:00

A terrible thing happened to our friends Alec and Michelle. I mentioned them before. They are the cool neighbors that showed up at our Holiday Party. Good people, sweet people, harmless people.

Over that first visit we found out that they were in the middle of fighting with our government to keep Alec in the country. He is a German citizen and although he has been married to Michelle, who is an American citizen, for more than 15 years, was told that he may have to leave the country. Be deported. They were married in Germany so they are not legally married in the states.

Now the two of them have been in the US for the past three years fighting this. They have done everything by the book to make Alec an American citizen. They have friends who did not do things legally and they are already citizens. It seems to stem from Alec’s first interview where he was asked, “Was it your intent to move to America when you came into the country?” It was their intent. He came here with his wife who is an American citizen, and yes he planned to live here with her. Wrong answer. If he would have said that, no, it had not been his intent, but when he got here he loved it and wanted to stay, they would not have gone through this whole dame mess. At least that is what their lawyer says.

So after thousands of dollars in lawyer fees, on Christmas Eve they found out that Alec would have to return to Germany or go to prison. This totally sucks. Michelle has not been away from Alec for more that five days since they met more than 20 years ago! It just isn’t right.

On the 13th Alec returned to Germany and Michelle is left here talking with politicians, writing letters, fighting to get Alec back over here. If I were them I am not sure I would be doing so. I think I wouldn’t want to live here. Michelle says her father was in the military and that was how she met Alec. Her parents live in Brooklyn and are very patriotic. Her father offered to sponsor Alec, but no. Alec is not welcome.

The day after he left Michelle gets a call from their attorney saying that he hoped Alec was gone because the government could raid the house at any moment. Raid the house? As if she was harboring a house full of alien immigrants. This is her HUSBAND! Of 15 years!

The whole thing is ridiculous. And I can only hope that the inept powers that be will soon see the error in their thinking and reunite a couple that loves each other deeply and should never have been separated.

"The New Colossus" by Emma Lazarus

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,With conquering limbs astride from land to land;Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall standA mighty woman with a torch, whose flameIs the imprisoned lightning, and her nameMother of Exiles. From her beacon-handGlows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes commandThe air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame."Keep ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries sheWith silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"

~Incription on the interior of the pedestal at the Statue of Liberty

Svetlana & Geoff

2008-01-03T05:08:00.000-07:00

From previous blogs you know I have been interested in finding alternative methods of travel.

The houseswapping idea. Great in theory. I really do love the idea, but so far, we haven't had any bites for where we want to travel. I think that perhaps we make take up Shawn's father on his timeshare offer, so that we get over to Italy. We'll see...

Well, in the search for a way to meet new people who are traveling to, I joined a website called Hospitality Club.

What is the Hospitality Club?

"Our aim is to bring people together - hosts and guests, travelers and locals. Thousands of Hospitality Club members around the world help each other when they are traveling - be it with a roof for the night or a guided tour through town. Joining is free, takes just a minute and everyone is welcome. Members can look at each other's profiles, send messages and post comments about their experience on the website.

The club is supported by volunteers who believe in one idea: by bringing travelers in touch with people in the place they visit, and by giving "locals" a chance to meet people from other cultures we can increase intercultural understanding and strengthen the peace on our planet."

Sweet, isn't it? I'm all for peace, right? So I filled out a profile and told those who are members if they come to Sedona to contact me. Svetlana and Geoff did. They are currently from Winnepeg, Canada, but originally from overseas. Nice people. We had lunch then hiked the airport loop, near the airport Vortex...mmm...a little too late in the day but we made it back before dark...but not before the coyotes started yowling or the sun early dropped before the horizon. I then, through my connections, set them up in a room at Enchantment for the night.

I had such a great time meeting new people. Showing them what I love about Sedona. Maybe you'd like to join...create new memories with good people...check it out!

Hopes for the New Year

2008-01-01T05:05:00.000-07:00

I've been told my blog is depressing. What the spining dick didn't make you smile? Okay...you're right. It is a little blue, but I am on an upswing. I promise.

So what are my hopes and dreams for the coming year? What do I want to accomplish with myself?

My funk, as I call it, has to do with my self-esteem. I am not feeling healthy, and in turn, not feeling pretty, and in turn feeling insecure, and in turn...well...This lack of health has really dug in the past couple of months. I haven't been going to the gym. I haven't been hiking. I haven't been writing. I've just kinda been hybernating or something. So, for my own sense of self, I need to refocus on finding my healthy space.

Hope #1: Find my healthy space.

My funk also has to do with lonliness. I am sure none of you want to hear that. Well, as we know, all of my good friends live far far away. We've now lived oh, five years away from the east coast and in that time, I have not made any close friends. That is not to say that there haven't been some intense friendships, but I tend to gravitate toward people who are bad at keeping in touch. Even though I do know that I have developed connections I don't feel as though I have developed any new sustainable friendships. I do have hopes that this will change, but at the moment that is how it is. Shawn is working hard. And since he started at Poco we have spent a lot less time together. So much of my happiness, depends on being with my friends, and he is my best friend. I have separation issues.

Hope #2: I will make more of an effort to make new friends and strengthen the friendships I have started.

My art. I must not forget to live as my artistic self and embrace my creativity. I must write. The book is not going to finish itself.

Hope #3: Make time for my creative center.

2007-12-31T00:01:00.000-07:00

Blue Christmas

2007-12-25T20:52:00.000-07:00

Why do I think this will ever get easier? That spending Christmas alone, without family or friends will somehow be an easy way to spend the holiday. Why do I think that Shawn slaving away at his restauraunt without time to spend with me will not in some way sting a bit. Sigh.

I worked today, knowing that it would be like this. Depressing. Sigh. But at six I could come home and there was nothing to do but be by myself. I poked my head in at Shawn's, but that was a mistake. He was crazy busy and I felt in the way. I returned home and am now alone with left over cheese ball and crackers feeling sorry for myself. Sigh...

Man, aren't I pathetic?

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-25T20:51:00.000-07:00

Happy Winter Solstice

2007-12-21T05:52:00.000-07:00

Blessed be all your days!

That's Just Funny

2007-12-16T08:53:00.001-07:00

MySpaceFools.com

2007-12-15T21:41:00.000-07:00

Project Censored is a media research group out of Sonoma State University which tracks the news published in independent journals and newsletters. From these, Project Censored compiles an annual list of 25 news stories of social significance that have been overlooked, under-reported or self-censored by the country's major national news media. http://www.projectcensored.org

The Top 25 Censored Stories of 2008 listed on Project Censored

1. No Habeas Corpus for "Any Person"
2. Bush Moves Towards Martial Law
3. US Military Control of Africa's Resources
4. Frenzy of Increasingly Destructive Trade Agreements
5. Human Traffic Builds US Embassy in Iraq
6. Operation FALCON Raids
7. Behind Blackwater Inc
8. The US Neoliberal Invasion of India
9. Privatisation of America's Infrastructure
10. Vulture Funds Threaten Poor Nations Debt Relief
11. The Scam of "Reconstruction" in Afghanistan
12. Another Massacre in Haiti by US Troops
13. Immigrant Roundups to Gain Cheap Labour for US Corporate Giants
14. Impunity for US War Criminals
15. Toxic Exposure can be Transmitted to Second Generations on a "Second Genetic Code"
16. No Hard Evidence Connecting Bin Laden to 9/11
17. Drinking Water Contaminated by Military and Corporations
18. Mexico's Stolen Election
19. People's Movement Challenges Neoliberal Agenda
20. Terror Act Against Animal Activists
21. US Seeks WTO Immunity for Illegal Farm Payments
22. North Invades Mexico
23. Feinstein's Conflict of Interest in Iraq
24. Media Misquotes Threat from Iran's President
25. Who Will Profit from Native Energy ?

Beautiful Christina!

2007-12-11T22:15:00.000-07:00

Love the nude pics of Christina Aguilara in Marie Claire! She looks gorgeous! You Rock girl!

Moving Forward

2007-12-10T16:29:00.000-07:00

Those who I speak with regularly have heard me vent and rail about some of the management I am working for, and have probably wondered why I didn't get off my ass and do something about the situation, instead of bitching to you about it.

That's always the tough part isn't it? Change. As much as you hate your job, you at least know what you can expect from it. Not to mention the two years you've spent getting to know people, until just about everyone knows who you are.

But, change must happen, and I started looking for new work a couple of weeks ago. Three interviews later and I was offered the position of Front Desk Manager at Sedona Real, a hotel that is...get this...across the street from our house. The owner seems straight forward which in my mind is the most important thing. No sneaky stuff, just put it out there. Last night we attended the holiday party and they seem like a good group of people.

I gave notice yesterday and found it to be rather anti-climatic. No response really. No question of why, just "oh" and you know who acted like I never said anything. I have expected you know who to make some kind of snide comment, it would have been nice to hear, we're gonna miss you. But nothing. I really shouldn't be surprised. Everyone else has been shocked and dismayed, except for those who work directly with me who knew I was looking. My last day will be the 22cnd.

Swapping

2007-12-05T17:07:00.000-07:00

Change, they say is good for the soul. Sometimes you need to try on something completely different. Meet some people that speak a language a little different from the one that surrounds you on a daily basis. Renew that romance that is beginning to fade a bit in the mundane of everyday and exchange it for some sizzle.

No, I’m not talking about swapping spouses, but swapping homes.

We’ve all see that movie…at least if you are a girl you have probably seen “The Holiday,” with Cameron Diaz, Jude Law, Kate Winslet and Jack Black. The story of a British woman who needs a change and a successful LA chick who needs one as well. They go online, do some online chatting and then decide to swap homes, knowing little about each others life. In the movie this is very spontaneous process, but in the real world there are websites devoted to the home swap.

Shawn and I have decided that we want to take a trip to Italy, and thought that perhaps the best way to do so would be to find someone who wants to visit Sedona and swap homes. I joined a couple of swapping sites, listed our house and have been busy writing letters to other hopeful swappers. So far we have had three people contact us with offers to exchange for South Africa, France, and Slovakia.

Two swappers have responded to me with interested offers for just outside of Rome, but they don’t want to commit to anything yet. This may work!

Would you swap your home? I ask, especially my New York and New Jersey friends, because a lot of people are looking or that area of the world. I am talking to a family of four who want to do some swapping in the big apple area. Do you want to visit Italy?

Or, are you weirded out with people sleeping in your sheets and touching your things? I have had some friends say that it creeped them out to think about it. But I have no thoughts of upset over someone being in our home. I think it would be cool and an awesome way to see the world for a lot less money.

Let me know what you think. And hey, I’m serious about Italy.

Happy Hanukkah!

2007-12-04T17:16:00.000-07:00

Shawn's Sister is Engaged!

2007-12-01T06:25:00.000-07:00

Congrats Rachel! May love light your days always!

The Cocoon

2007-11-25T12:30:00.000-07:00

It is officially cold here in Sedona. We’ve pulled out the heavy comforter and I am shopping for slippers. Me. Who hates slippers.

Shawn had this not so brilliant idea that we can use the little decorative fireplace to heat the downstairs, and buy a space heater to heat the bedroom, and forgo getting heat in the house. Ummm. No, me thinks. It is colder here than in Cottonwood or Rimrock. It is only ten degrees, but it feels a lot colder to me.

The best thing about being in a cold house is when you are under the total warmth and serenity of the cocoon of covers. So warm and toasty. And when it’s a day that Shawn and I both have off together we snuggle and poke our noses out. Barnabus finds it fun to lick our noses and climb all over us. We don’t want to leave the haven and face the cold wide world. Even if it is day that we have together. We beg Barnabus to go make us coffee and deliver it to us bedside, but alas he has no opposable thumbs or any need to do something that would not be to his benefit.

It is only this need for coffee calling us down the stairs in our robes and slippers that pulls us from our sanctuary.

Am I becoming a Metrosexual?

2007-11-25T12:24:00.000-07:00

Can you believe Shawn asked me this question? My farting, plaid wearing, roll up his jeans and wear socks with sandals wearing husband? You might be asking yourself, what would make him think he was becoming a metrosexual.

It’s his nails.

Most of you have seen them. Or rather, try not to look at them. They are scary. A lifetime of biting them has completely destroyed the nail beds. The smooth curve of nail normally associated with the fingertips has turned into a wavy beat-up mess. As wife, it has been my job to pretend they aren’t there, and I will admit I’ve done an admirable job of this.

But Shawn has always been embarrassed by them and lately, complaining to me of putting on weight is going through some kind of self-esteem thing. (The man works 16 hour days without breaks, he really aughta give himself a mental break at least!).

At the beginning of October I decided to go and get my nails done, and made the decision to go acrylic. Now, I haven’t had my nails done regularly since we lived in NY. It’s more expensive out here for one thing, and for another we never have any money. Not that this has changed really, but I digress.

I have been lucky enough to have a nice shaped nail. My nails have always been one of my beauties. Great curve, texture and cuticle, but the desert has played nasty with my digits. They flake and brake constantly. My cuticles would get so dry they would crack and then bleed. It was not pretty and painful.

One of my co-workers has gorgeous nails so I asked her where she got hers done and made an appointment. I was a virgin to the acrylic nail. How did they put these on, what were they made of. So here’s the scoop. They take a face plastic nail that is lets say an inch long and attach it to the end of your finger with glue. Then they cut that to the desired length. I chose ¼ inch. Next they take powdered acrylic. If you are doing pink and white, which looks like a French manicure, which is what I did the first time, there are two different colored acrylic powders. First Trish, my wonderful nail Goddess, dips the paint brush into a liquid and dabs it in the powder, to create a kind of wet putty. She shapes the white tip, giving a nice natural curve. This dries while she does all ten fingers and then she goes back and fills in the nail color, artistically blending the acrylic to look like a natural nail.

This isn’t cheap. The pink and whites are $45, and then here’s the kicker, you have to go back every 2 to 3 weeks to keep them filled! You can get a fill, which is where they fill in the part that looks like the natural nail. $22. Or if you want to keep up the white, a back fill, that is $32 to go in that way. Very expensive, and something I didn’t realize before I got addicted to the nail game. What to do? I decided I didn’t need to go pink and white, and what I loved about the nails was the strength. They don’t break. And the look. Actually, I much prefer color. So now I get them filled and painted to look like colored nails…much more me. I love them.

Which leads to why my husband thinks he’s a metrosexual. Shawn saw my nails and was amazed and wondered if he should get his nails done. He could have real nails. I spoke to Trish who thought he would still bite them off, maybe while he was sleeping, which I told Shawn. But I said, if he wanted to do it I didn’t care. A couple of weeks went by and I thought he had forgotten about it.

When I came back from Portland he had nails. He was excited and proud. I needed to shorten them a bit, because he was having trouble dialing phones and upset about getting food under them while he cooked. He is used to having no nails at all. So I showed him how to trim and file and buff them.

The other night I look over and he is sitting in the bed doing his nails and it is so fucking cute and funny. I have to laugh. He loves them. And I can see how it has improved his self-esteem. And why shouldn’t it? Don’t I feel prettier when I get my nails done? Don’t I sit around clicking them together in great joy? (Do not laugh!) Why shouldn’t he find just as much pleasure?

I picked up a men’s nail grooming kit and he ripped into like it was a new set of kitchen knives, he face alive with glee. LOL! I do not exaggerate! And as I mock him and secretly find this adorable he looks up at me and asks, “Am I becoming a metrosexual?”

Far from it. And guess what? He hasn’t bitten his nails since.

Thanksgiving Quiche?

2007-11-23T12:28:00.000-07:00

We both worked long hard days, with demanding Turkey day holiday goers. Shawn cooked up turkeys for the masses. So why was I surprised when I got home from watching the children at our resort buffet dinner that there was no turkey and stuffing? No yams and green bean casserole? Just because I have a dream of turkey dinner doesn’t mean that Shawn never wants to see another turkey again.

So it was spinach and ham quiche for me. Sad, but true. Oh, don’t feel too sorry for me. It was amazingly good quiche. It just wasn’t my dream of turkey and stuffing.

I'm Thankful for you!

2007-11-21T20:39:00.000-07:00

Come on Demand, No More

2007-11-20T20:41:00.000-07:00

Sad news erotica readers. Custom Erotica Source.com will be shutting down after December. No more personally taylored tales to suit your perverted wants and needs. Sigh. So sad. So, if you want a special ditty for the one that makes you horny this season, please stop in and visit Custom Erotica Source before the opportunity is gone. They do have a special twelve stories of Christmas that will get you in the mood for the new year. Order a story now before its too late!

Check out my Slide Show!

2007-11-19T21:26:00.001-07:00

Valley Ho

2007-11-19T20:53:00.000-07:00

No, it's not the name of a campy porn movie, its a hotel in Scottsdale, Arizona. Honest. And we were there last Friday night. As an attempt to get my husband away from work I stoll him away for a night to this hip retro modern four diamond property, I am lucky enough to get a discount at.

Shawn looks dubius as we register. The mod furnishings, the clean lines. And when we step into the studio room and see the bathtub at the center of the room he says something like, "what the fuck?" But it was just wonderful. A tub in the center of the room, and a curtain to close off the bathroom...it was so cool. Shawn was just cranky because we had just driven for two hours and he hadn't eaten nothing but a pear all day.

We change and after a madcap attempt to find out what restauarants are within walking distance dcidd to at Zu Zu, the cafe at the resort. Cafe, well, pretty expensive for a cafe, but the food was very good. Shawn's appetizer was especailly tastey. The drinks were at NYC prices so we just had one then went back to the room to enhoy that tub!

The following day we drove to Tucson to visit Saguaro Desert Museum. A friend at work had told me it was a must see. It's located outsdid Tucson at the center f the Saguaro National Forest. Its sorta like the Museum of Natural History and a zoo, but for the desert. There are lots of animal habitats and information on geology and history of Arizona. The highlight of the visit was a raptor demonstration. These falcons flew over our heads and were elegant and beautiful. They also had a hummingbird sanctuary where the tiny little guys zipped around our heads. There was also this photo happy beaver that was cool. It was a lot of fun, and something we hadn't done in ages.

The drive back was long, but worth th day away from the ordinary. Shawn was much more relaxed by the time we arrived back home.

Back to School

2007-11-15T08:00:00.000-07:00

It was imperative that Friday night we get stinking drunk. I mean, how could a revisit to those college days go without? After all I did miss all of the irresponsibility the first time around.

So we dolled ourselves up, well not Jasen, and he is much more a teddy bear than a doll, and took a seat at a local pub. They served chips and curry just like in Scotland. Unfortunately none of it tasted quite as good as when eaten in Scotland. My lump of fish had all of the appeal of something one might have shat onto the chips. Is that a word? Shat? But none of that matters after two ciders and in the company of two of my dearest friends in the world. If you memory serves you, my friends, I am lightweight, and apparently so was the rest of my crew so we decided to walk the 30 blocks home in the rain. No problem! I miss rain! It hasn't rained in nearly two months in Sedona. So we laughed our way to the next bar, half way home and imbibed a bit more. Conversation was lively and we were having a blast, but when I stood to leave I found my legs to be a bit rubbery. I was too drunk to care much. We arrived home and after a bit of heated debated that ended up with all of us in sour moods we went to bed.

I was sure to drink a gallon of water and some aspirin, convinced I would not have a hangover the following morning. What I did end up doing was having to pee every hour or so though. But blessed be, I woke, and unlike Candice who was puking in the bathroom, not even a headache rattled my skull. My continued blessing of never having a hang over followed me through!

The convention center is only a five minute drive and Candice dropped me off like a child going to school. Basically, Wordstock is a giant book fair with authors. I mean it was a bibliophiles wet dream. Table after table of books for sale. All of Portland's finest bookstores had shown up to market their wares.

There were three stages, at which, author's were speaking about their novels and reading excerpts. I took a sampling of the free Starbucks coffee and sat down for Peter Sagal, who wrote The Book of Vice. I had never heard of him, but I liked the title of the book and had an hour to kill before my first class.

This man is a natural speaker and reader and I soon found out, a radio personality on NPR. This book is hilarious, as he proved reading the chapter on Eating or Sodom’s Restaurant. Which, of course, led me to purchasing the book so Shawn would not miss a word. He went into great detail on that restaurant that create molecular food in Chicago, Alinea. Got an autographed copy of the fun read and then headed to my first class, "How to Write Sex Scenes without Fucking them Up."

Steve Almond was a great speaker and had lived a life writing, trying to earn a living...I found out much more about his career in my next class, "How to Survive as a Writer without Selling your Plasma," also taught by him. But in any event, we were asked to set our inhibitions aside and attempt to write the worst sex scene possible and then share are masterpiece with those gathered. Hmmm. Not as easy as it may sound. We had a good laugh and then went on to read one of the best erotic passages ever written, from one of my favorite books Spending, by Mary Gordon. The class was wonderful and fun, but over far too quickly (by the way, this is one of my only complaints about Wordstock, the classes were too short. All of the instructors found themselves running out of time.). Almond was so smart and witty and such a writer. Starving and surviving and slowly becoming more successful, but still, with published best sellers, having to work another job. It is the way of the artist he says and even though this is disinheriting, he somehow makes it sound romantic too.

But the romance of the struggling artist is stomped quickly beneath the heals of my next class, "Twelve Hundred Steps to Getting your Book Published." This guy had used car salesman asshole written all over his face. I wanted to run away screaming from the arrogant, condescending drivel spewing from his mouth. And who knows if its true? I didn't want to believe it. I guess I live in some fantasy world of how to get a book published. Anyhow, I just counted the minutes until it was over. Almond was going to be reading from his novel at five and I couldn't wait. He is so amusing and real, sigh. I think I may have a little crush.

I joined Candice and Jasen for dinner and a night in, then woke to my last day in Portland. I had two classes, the first on dialogue which was great. I took ten pages of notes and wished I was in school again. This time studying the craft of writing. Following this was "12 Steps to Stop Sabotaging your Writing and Get Published." It turns out I need a 12 step program. I am guilty of doing everything to avoid writing and I got some great tips that I hope will help me refocus my writing life.

If it weren't for Shawn at home missing me, I wouldn't want to leave Portland. But we all know I am having a love affair with P-town. Candice and Jasen took me for one last stroll through the city streets and we stopped a tea bar where I had a nummy black currant white Russian and tried something called dragon chips. We talked again of the dream of all of us living in the same city.

I arrived home at 2 in the morning and had to be up for work at 7:00am. Shit.

Check out my Slide Show!

2007-11-14T20:24:00.001-07:00

The Good Life

2007-11-09T18:39:00.001-07:00

Yesterday after a delightful breakfast of cornflake crusted french toast and apple saugage, Candice and I took a ride over to the coast. We visited Oswego State Park and walked down to the beach beneath towering old trees covered in thick moss and musty mushrooms. I had my camera out, and took my time, my lens soaking in the wonderfully lush scenery. The air smelled of earth and sea and the dying things of autumn. A natural smell that is really not in Arizona. It made me homesick for this place that we don't live. Homesick for vegitation that sprouts from trunks of fallen trees and born thick like algea on fat logs.

The sound of our voices blended with the scrape of the leaves beneath our feet, reminding me of childhood and simpler times. The sky was grey with thick clouds, but there was a veil of blue above them. Beautiful. The wind whipped around us as we walked in the sand, wet and cold. A black dog ran up to us, joy in every fiber of his body as he showed us his stick and ran back toward the waves, so happy to be alive. Oh to be that dog. To be so sure of every second of your happiness. Candice carved words in the sand with her toes and looked so beautiful in her cloche hat with the gray flower. So young and pretty and familiar.

We walked back up to the car along the path thinking of how nice it would be to camp here. To take the wheelbarrels offered and roll your packs and tents down to the beach for marshmellow roasting and a starlit sky. We took a picture of a fat thick slug curled onto a log and then our picture was taken by two older gentlemen who said we looked so fashionable and pretty, as if we stepped out of NYC subway. As Candice says, there is no reason not to hike and not look good.

We then drove to Cannon Beach. The wind had picked up quite a bit and we found the cold brisk air driving through our lungs in cleansing gulps. I felt young and free and alive. The seaguls were fat from too many tourists. Haystack rock sat proud in the ocean, a testament to mother nature's beauty as the sun was setting in the gray sky, as the dry sand whipped across the wet, chilling our bones but beautiful in its movement.

Clam Chowder was foremost in my mind as we walked back into the cute little village of tourist shops that were strangely empty, and Candice tells me our crammed full of summertourists with beach towels and smelling of sunscreen in season. We sit down at Morris's Fireside Resteraunt in front of the stone fireplace and enjoy hot mochas. Candice orders the oyster stew and I the dream of clam chowder. It is devine. It is perfect.

As we have since I arrived, our conversation continues on life, and love, and polotics, and religion, and us. With Candice there is never anything I can't say or share. She is my sister, my friend, my counselor and one of my favorite people on earth. The car ride home is spent with lazier conversations, but more philosphical and we are tired.

We are sated.

So much so that today is a day of lazy accomplishment. At least on my part. After a restful sleep I set up camp and finish my novel. Eat, Love, Pray by Elizabeth Gilbert. A highly satifying read that coincidentaly, Marcie is reading as well. The connection between good friends is strong...;-) I will be leaving this for Candice to enjoy next.

We went for a very satisfying walk around P-town, here in Irvington. The leaves are wonderful shades of every color of orange, and read, and yellow, and purple. It is wet and damp and again smelling of life. I miss rain. More than I can say, and more than I know, until I return to those places in the world where it is.

And I miss Candice. I miss those conversations that go on for hours and those questions that are never to hard to ask when she is near. I miss having friends around me. I was on the phone with Marcie the other day and I said I don't have any friends! Near me anyway, to sate this need to discuss and disect. Yes, there is my amazing husband, my loving, adoring man, whom I share all with, but there is something about girlfriends. About women. It's just different.

Tonight we will feat at an Irish Pub on fish and chips and laughter. And memories.

Tomorrow I will write amongs writer and learn. I am a sponge.

Lipstick Cover Art!

2007-11-09T18:39:00.000-07:00

Cover art for Lipstick on her Collar is here! You know what that means! It won't be long until this is available for puchase my friends! Reserve your copy at Pretty Things Press!

My tantalizing story Reap What You Sew, a tale of passion between a lingerie designer and the seamstress that works for her calls to mind my previous life as a designer in NYC. Sighhhhh! Look for it soon and pick up a copy!

Rockin' the House!

2007-11-08T18:39:00.000-07:00

Erin fucking rocked the house last night at the Doug Fir Lounge. She has so much grit and a pure clean voice that turns your insides.

I missed my flight to Portland and had spend half a day in the airport. Although pissed-mostly because I had it in my pea brain that my flight left an hour later than it did, and I hit unbelievable traffic due to an accident, I was happy to have so much free time to read without interuption. I slept on the plane and woke up in hip-town America. Portland.

Joined my wonderfully beautiful and audatious friends for some rockin' with Erin McKeown, a hot little spit fire who lit up the stage. She's gonna be up in Washington next...watch out Seattle, Bellingham and Kenawick for an awesome show.

Gonna drive to the coast now. Pretty pictures to take.

Full Speed Ahead!

2007-11-05T06:00:00.000-07:00

Life is gearing up as I approach my departure for P-Town! Got my revisions requests for my erotic writing source story and want to get those in by tomorrow...arghhh! The client loved the story but is very particular and it will take a couple good hours hours tonight to get everything in order with that.

We are looking into swapping our townhouse for an apartment in Italy for our trip next year. Sounds like an inexpensive way to do things, just not sure how many people want to visit Sedona and stay in our humble home. But I like the idea a lot.

Working on the coffee website with mom, but am afraid will not get to focus on that until I return from Portland. Excited about the trip. Can't wait to see Candice and Jasen, not to mention the writing conference, Erin McKeown and a possible jaunt to the ocean....yeah!

Check out my Slide Show!

2007-11-01T21:38:00.001-07:00

The Next Gordon Ramsey!

2007-11-01T21:20:00.001-07:00

That's my man! Check out those sexy forearms! Grrrrrr!

Have a Sexy Halloween!

2007-10-31T16:28:00.001-07:00

The Cat

2007-10-27T08:18:00.000-07:00

Taken moments ago. Barnabus

Barnabus and I are bonding. He is lying in my lap where my laptop should be and making it known that today he is most important. How can I not help but adore him and for his self confidence? his innate curiosity? Even if he is the loudest, most annoying brat in the world. He charms us with his beauty; those moss green eyes and luxurious wispy black hair. He beguiles us with his trust; belly up, legs spread for tummy petting. And he loves me. Can't forget that.

2007-10-23T12:59:00.000-07:00

I've just finished a super nasty erotic romp! A threesome, no a fivesome. Well, we all have to get our kinks somehow!

This not to be missed bit of filth can be read in my writing group, "A Dirty Book is Rarely Dusty," at gather.com. I know you would like me to post here, but I hear rumors that publishers will not be putting stories into print that are posted openly for all to see. Private groups, like mine at gather, are cool though. So join and read, Fame, Fortune and Hayden. Catch a thrill.

Knowledge is good...

2007-10-13T17:23:00.000-07:00

I am totally psyched about my Wordstock classes, which I signd up for today -

On Saturday:

Steve Almond – How to Write Sex Scenes (Without F*cking It Up)

Steve Almond – How to Survive as a Writer (Without Selling Your Plasma)

David Sanford – “No Fear” Book Publishing Strategies

On Sunday:

Janet Fitch – Issues in Dialogue-craft

Lauren Kessler – A 12-Steps Program for Writers: How to Stop Sabotaging Yourself and Start Writing

I am thinking for Thursday/Friday I might take a drive to the coast to take some pics. It might be nice to take in the ocean after being land locked for so long. Maybe I can kidnap Candice and we could hav a couple of days of taking in the world...

Red Rock Crossing

2007-10-11T21:29:00.000-07:00

Above: Red Rock Crossing

Below: Shawn with Cathedral Rock

2007-10-11T21:00:00.000-07:00

Shawn and I finally had a day off together Tuesday, so we took our first hike of the autumn. The weather has been so glorious and perfect. High 70s, blue skies...sigh. We headed over to Red Rock Crossing, which we hadn't hiked before. There were some great views of Cathedral Rock. Not a challenging hike, but pretty to be along the creek. The best part was just being together.

Schnebly Hill

2007-10-10T21:44:00.000-07:00

Taken after the gym. The color was perfect.

Story Order!

2007-10-06T18:18:00.000-07:00

So, I was hired months and months ago to write dirty stories for CustomEroticaSource.com, and in all that time have only had one assignment. This has made me really sad...sniff, sniff...well, I really think it is such a cool website. Being a big fan of hot juicy erotica, I tend to think that everyone is. To have your own custom story? How cool is that?

At last, my dreams of writing a story catered to someone's fantasy has come true again. And this will be a challenge, but fun, I think. This guy likes some filthy shit...ooo...nasty!

Wordstock!

2007-09-30T17:01:00.000-07:00

Purchased my plane ticket to my first writing conferance! Sooo cool! Wordstock is in Portland the 10th and 11th of November. The added bonus is I will see Candice and Jason for the duration. Also, picked up Erin Mc Keown tickets for the 7th, the night I get in. Love Erin!

I haven't picked my classes yet, but will let you know what I sign up for when I decide. Oh, decisions, decisions! Any other writers out there want to join me in Portland. Marcie? Angi? Rain?

Happy Anniversary to my One True Love!

2007-09-20T17:16:00.000-07:00

The one thing I know for sure is I love you. From the moment I met you, Shawn, you have made me smile, laugh and feel safe. Every morning that I wake up with by my side, my heart glows to know you will be with me always. Thank you for your honesty, generosity and your love. You are my heart, always.

Home at last...

2007-09-19T15:31:00.000-07:00

We are nearly completely in! Yeah! Only one more trip should do it. I have reconsidered the having the friends help with lots of trucks idea as being a good one. With U-Haul it is just one trip and everything is in. Lots o trucks mean you are going back and fourth, back and fourth.

Last Thursday night after a bit of tension with the rental agency we rented the townhouse from...well we go there with our money after having asked them if we could come in on Thursday so we can get in early, and they say it won't be ready until the weekend. Of course we had friends all lined up to come over and give us a hand. So then I spent the day worried thinking I was gonna have to call everyone to cancel and finally they told us we could get in that night. I had five friends lined up to give us a hand, and only one showed up. Thank the maker for Lila who was a great help in getting us in.

I have one word for you. Stairs. Ughhh. My legs were like jello by the time we were through...but we are pretty much moved in and everything is in place. I love this place...the entire living room is a wall of glass that looks out onto green. There is so much more storage space than I thought there was, which is great. We are still waiting to get our phones hooked up and then that's it.

Home...sigh...:-)

Rubber Lickin' Good!

2007-09-19T15:08:00.000-07:00

Who writes hot, sexy erotica about rubber? Me, that's who! My short story "Lick of Pain," was chosen by the editor to be included in their rubber anthology! I am psyched!

The anthology is being sent off to Cleis Press for final approval, so nothing is set in stone, but I'm in....

...Pssst! If you you want to read my sexy rubber lickin' good story, it is posted at Gather.com in the private group A Dirty Book is Rarely Dusty. Join gather and become a part of my erotic reading group and you can read all of my nasty stories!

Happy Birthday Candice!

2007-09-17T15:16:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday my beautiful amazing friend! I hope that your weekend away rejuvinated your soul. May laughter and smiles follow you always!

The Final Count Down

2007-09-12T14:23:00.000-07:00

Everything is moving fast forward...very fast and I am trying to get everything done before the move. Tomorrow is the day. I have managed to get friends from work to help us move. Which is a good thing, because I am not sure that Shawn will get out in time to help us.

After the weekend there will be little access to the internet until next Thursday. I may go into withdrawal! But we will only be living a couple minute walk to the library, so when in need I can go there to get a fix.

Water and electric tomorrow. Gas on Friday and then its just unpacking...of course, that is after the garage sale on Friday and Saturday. You wouldn't believe the pile of stuff I have to get rid of...downsizing has made this difficult but purging is good.

After tomorrow we will only have cell phone use until the internet is up again. You know the digits...Tomorrow night we will be sleeping under a new roof...yeah...

Happy Birthday Ang!

2007-09-11T02:00:00.000-07:00

This little piggie dressed up for your birthday! I hope you create wonderful memories this day, Ang! Wish I could be there to celebrate with you! Love you!

Happy Birthday MARK!

2007-09-10T21:15:00.000-07:00

You Dude! It's your birthday again! And I am here again! This doesn't work! I wish we could rock it with you, but know we are jammin' with you in our hearts! Love you!

2007-09-10T06:53:00.000-07:00

This morning Shawn woke up and I forced myself up so I can get a little writing done. I am sitting at the computer and hear, "OH my GOD!" as a cry of anguish from the bathroom. He walks into the living room and Shawn has accidently shaved off the side burn and part of his beard on his right side of his face.

What happened? The guide on the electric razor slipped and he is tired so....off with the beard! He wasn't sure what to do...shave the beard and go for a gotee? I thought he should just leave it and wait for it to grow back. Tell the boys at work that he woke up that way...lol...oh its not funny! The poor man is horrified. He decided to shave off the other side burn. He tells me it looks modern. He's a modern guy! Especially with is square framed glasses.

You keep telling yourself that, honey.

Joining a Group on Gather.com

2007-09-10T06:45:00.000-07:00

After you have become a member of gather.com, in order to read my stories you will need to join my writing group called A Dirty Book is Rarely Dusty. Here are some simple steps get you hooked up.

How do I find a group I'm interested in? Search on the search groups page under the "Groups" tab in the main menu. Search will check groups by Name, Groupspace URL, tags, and description. Visit any tags page by clicking on a word in the left-hand column, or try your own tag at www.gather.com/yourtaghere. On each tags page, you will find the most recent and most popular groups associated with that tag.

How do I join a group?After you've found a group you'd like to join, click its name to go to the group's homepage. You'll see the Join This Group link on the left-handside of the page. If the group membership is moderated, your membership request will be sent to the group owner and moderator/s. You'll receive an email after your request has been reviewed, letting you know if you've been accepted. If the group membership is not moderated, you'll be able to participate in the group immediately after joining.

Hope that is helpful for those of you who want to read my stories.

I just published two rewrites of stories I wrote quite a while ago. Both were submitted for the super short sexy story contest. Let me know what you think! Love ya!

Is Rubber Erotic?

2007-09-01T20:13:00.000-07:00

My latest writing work is a story bent on making rubber sexy. I can understand a tight shiny vinyl suit making someone's knees weak, but I have trouble going beyond that.

In my research on the fetish of rubber I found some intersting pictures and ideas. Some extremely hot, and some extremely weird. For one thing, I did not get the gas masks. Just didn't get the desire to see that on a person. But there is something to the smell I think. Kinda like a sharpee when you take of the cap, or gasoline when you fill up the take. An almost annoying scent that is actually inviting. Rubber has that...that aroma...that draw...

In any event. My new story "Lick of Pain," is now posted at Gather.com. Just follow the link below.

http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.jsp?articleId=281474977104167

This is the tale of Nadine, Sylvia's submissive gal who is given an order to remove her vinyl suit with her teeth. A story for some and not others. Are you into rubber? (Take the poll at the right, I wanna know!)

It was pointed out to me that I should mention that once at the gather website you will need to join gather and become a part of my erotic writing group: A Dirty Book is Rarely Dusty, in order to read my story. I hope you do!

Happy Birthday Grandpa!

2007-08-29T19:45:00.000-07:00

We are moving...Again!

2007-08-24T13:57:00.000-07:00

We were gonna wait to look until October, but a friend at work said she knew someone leaving the willow townhomes. Not the technical name, but how I know them. Everyday, on the way into Sedona, from Cottonwood, I pass by a huge patch of green. Now, to all of my northern friends this may mean nothing, but green in the desert is rare. This small stretch of the road has several huge willow trees and grass from the townhomes to the sidewalk. Every time I drive past a sigh escapes my list as I see all of that green.

I called up the friend's friend and he said we could come on over and take a look.

Shawn has made it no secret that he has always wanted to live in a two story apartment and this fit the bill. Huge windows looking out onto that green too. Smaller than where we are. More run-down that where we are. Shawn went to the rental agency and it was already rented! Damn and blast!

But this tale has a happy ending. There is another unit for rent in the same complex. This one was in better shape, and more updated...yeah, and ours! So we move again. The location is perfect. A little over a five minute drive for us both...

But I have a lot of shit...way too much crap....we are downsizing to a two bedroom, no garage. Fuck! Shawn says to me, well you just have to get rid of your stuff. LOL! the man has lived with me for five years and knows better than anybody how difficult it is for me to get rid of stuff...I am pack rat and this is going to be a painful experience. But I am gong to try and take a page from Marcie's book...

Ughhh!

2007-08-24T10:13:00.000-07:00

I'm sick. I hate being sick. Last night I overdozed on medication. I mean I thought this was bad allergies so I took one dose of allergy pills, didn't get better, so I took another. Then I took some dayquil on top of that. Next nyquil before the dayquil had worn off...I was a frickin' loon, but fell asleep more easily than I thought I would, but of course woke up every hour or so to excessive dry mouth to down orange juice. Shawn says I kept getting off to adjust the fan because I guess I couldn't decide if I was hot or cold. Not that I remember. But I frickin' hate being sick. I blame the new boss lady. She was sick. Now I am sick. See the pattern. Crap.

Dating Porn Stars Hazardous to your Job

2007-08-23T08:30:00.000-07:00

So, I was reading this article and thought, "what the fuck?" What is wrong with people? Hey, its a free trip to FL, where this art teacher can take in the Salvador Dali Museum. So what if he meets a porn star? Closed minded bastards!

Nidhi Sharma - AHN News Writer
Monessen, PA (AHN) -

A Monessen, Pennsylvania high school has accepted the resignation of a an art teacher after he won a date with a porn star on a radio show.

Jaison Biagini, who taught art for 14 years in Monessen, near Pittsburgh, says he entered a Sirius satellite radio contest on the 'Bubba the Love Sponge' show because it would win him with a free weekend in Tampa. Biagini said he was interested in visiting the Salvador Dali Museum in St. Petersburg. The teacher won, and took off for Tampa, where he met porn star Akira.
But, according to the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, Biagini, who uses a wheelchair, said he felt the sponsors had made fun of his disability. To make matters worse, the school also asked him to step down after the stunt. School board officials say that despite his artistic intentions, Biagini knew what "he was getting into when he entered the contest."

2007-08-23T07:18:00.000-07:00

So last night my hubby and I are perusing Ben & Jerrry's offerings at the local Safeway, and he tells me has something to show me...always curious of the mysteries of my hubby left undiscoverd I hurry on over.

On the top shelf of the ice cream section, above the Haagan-Daz is a box of Frosty Paws! Frozen treats for your dog!

I didn't quite believe it, had to look at the box thoroughly and yes indeed, Purina has come out with this strange but special treat. Now, our four-legged friends can imbibe in ice-cream fun! Unlike the human variety Frosty Paws is good for your pet. Lots 'o vitamins and minerals, high in protien, and tastes good. Hmmm. Well, maybe to dogs. I have a feeling that if we could eat frosty treats full of nutritional goodness that tasted deliscious, Purina would be seeling their doggy ice cream to more than just the pooch.

This is he verbage from the Purina site:

Next time you’re doing your grocery shopping, fetch a frozen treat your dog is sure to love. Try NEW Frosty Paws™ Frozen Treats for Dogs. Delicious and refreshing, you can bet your dog will go crazy for them! You’ll love them because they’re nutritious for your dog. Be sure to look for these tasty treats in the ice cream section of your store.

Stardust

2007-08-22T07:36:00.000-07:00

Everytime Shawn saw the preview for "Stardust" his eyes would light up like a kid on Christmas morning. He'd read the book, this was so exciting. How could I not take him to see this fantasy adventure movie? So, feeling like someone forced into a theater full of hopeful sci-fi geeks, we went. And guess what? It was really good! I was so glad to be proven wrong.

This movie was funny. In the vein of "The Princess Bride" funny. I love the "PB" and in fact, in honor of latest movie outing will put that in the DVD player to have another laugh. The goat man! Robert De Niro in drag....just frickin' funny! I am a new De Niro fan!

You know how it is. Sci-fi/Fantasy movies in the theater tend to be bombs. "Star Wars" aside of course. There is the occasional well-done big-screen sci-fi adventure like "The Fifth Element," but over-all it is usually a bust. Believe me, I am a Sci-fi fan and wish that more movies were made in this genre, and made well.

Shawn and I have been noticing that the trend of books to movie may bring us this wish. I think this started with the Tolkien movies. "Lord of the Rings" etc. were so amazing. The story, special affects, acting, and location had us sci-fi geeks selling out theaters. Then came "The Harry Potter" movies which have been done so well and true to the books. The last one has been my favorite.

"The Golden Compass," a book series Marcie turned us on to, will be in theaters soon, and from the look of the trailor, we will be sitting in the dark, popcorn in hand with the rest of our sci-fi buddies.

Too Cool!

2007-08-19T08:40:00.000-07:00

Parisa, my inspirational friend from the past, wrote back! Very cool. She is busy jet-setting about the country promoting her new line of clothes, but definately wants to hook up for some chat time in September. She sounded just as excited as I (well as excited as you can sound in an e-mail). This is way beyond cool. It would really frickin' rock if we could re-aqaint and quite possible rekindle a friendship. I am starved for intelligent girl conversation!

Also a little scary...its been eight years. What if we have nothing in common? Well we will definately have a lot to talk about. Lots' o' shit has gone down in eight years.

So, What's the Novel About?

2007-08-17T13:55:00.000-07:00

I know you are all wondering if this going to be an epic lesbian sex romp....500 pages of steamy hot sex.

Sorry to disappoint you. Oh yes, this is a queer love story, but the hot sex is not the drive of the book.

This is a period piece set just before King Author, and dealing in particular with Merlin's mother and her family. It tells the story of the woman who would give birth to the great wizard and how that came to be. There are no books that I have found that tell this story, and certainly none that will the way I have chosen to. I came across a brief synopsis of the family history of Merlin's family that sparked an idea that has to date, grown to 36,000 words and counting.

Hold on to your nickers girls, 'cause this is gonna be worth the wait.

The Water in the Bowl

2007-08-16T17:53:00.000-07:00

Hey ya'all! I just finished up a new hot story entitled "The Water in the Bowl." What? Doesn't sound kinky? Well, then you better think again...or better yet, click on the link and check it out!

2007-08-16T11:39:00.000-07:00

No reason to get overly excited or anything, but I found a long lost friend. Thank the internet Goddess!

So college seems a long time ago, a lifetime ago. During those crazy times where I worked a full-time job and earned my fashion degree I really made only one friend. Sad, but the life of a design student does not allow for many quality relationships. I lost many during those four years of late night projects and caffiene highs. Those who hung on...you know who you are...I bow down to your greatness.

During Parsons, there were a couple of sorta friends, but only one person I wished that I had kept in touch with after college. Often I have wondered whatever happened to her. Googling her turned up nothing...but guess what the gooogle goddess gave me today.

This was the woman that made me question myself and my sexuality. She helped me to learn who I was and how I could look at my world differently. She opened my eyes. In fact, my second published story, "From the Sea,"'s lead character carries her name. Parisa.

Yes, I was thinking of her when I wrote it. Parisa was just such a cool awesome woman. Inspiring.

The clothing line she designs lookes totally funked out and too cool. Rigged Outfitters: Queer Fashion for Outlaws! Gotta love that brand name. So hot! Check it folks!

I am so happy that I found her. Even if she doesn't write back or contact me. Even if she is just a blog in time, I know that from the outside looking in, her path, her journey has led her to places she wanted to go. But hey, Parisa...if you wanna chat, I'd like to get to know the person you've become. Drop me a line!

So None of you Read Erotica?

2007-08-16T09:48:00.000-07:00

Okay...you just stopped at my page because you saw the naked ass at the top. I mean, that is what the internet is used for, right? Porn. Looking at hot naked bodies doing things we wish we were doing, but can't because we are too shy, too old, too fat, too inhibited, not so flexable, have a fear of whips and chains, but secretly like to seem them being wielded. We are all curious about sex. I mean, sometimes you just can't help but wanna know what peopole will do, have done, are planning on doing. I have seen some interesting pictures on the net...all in the line of research, of course! ;-) We are obsessed with sex. Admit it!

I have been reading erotica since I first moved to NY in 1994. A long lost friend, I believe her name was Rhea, introduced me to "The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty," by Anne Rice. This was the first time I had read anything that would even be considered erotica. Oh, I went through a phase in high school with a love for Harlequin Romance Novels, didn't every teenage girl? As a side note, Harlequin does have an erotic novel line now called Blaze. Pretty tame, by my standards, but it is more than the steamy kisses and hugging I was reading about when I was 16. Back to the "Beauty" series. Not really my cup of tea, very out there sex, but it definately wet my appetite and put me in search of erotica that would speak to me.

As you might have guessed, I have a rather extensive collection of erotica myself. My favorite erotic novel is "Spending," by Mary Gordon. I don't believe this is billed as an erotic work, but the writing is so sensual and well written. The story is about an artist and her life. I do prefer short stories to novels though. My favorite collection is "The Olympic Reader." This is probably because it includes stories that are in that are taboo in the erotic writing market and I do believe in no sensorship.

Some other great collections are "Gone is the Shame," "Joyful Desires," and "Bondage." These three were all published by Masquerade books almost a decade ago and still keep the juices flowing. "Zaftig" an anthology devoted to those with some curves is also a fun read. Of course, it goes without saying that the books my stories are a part of are the best you will be able to find in the market.

I digress, my friends. Erotica. Do you read it? I have a little poll going on to the right of this page, and I am sad to say, that after a week of it being there, not a single person had chosen to take part. My heart is breaking! I know I have two readers, so there should be two votes at least. I think I have seen Ang in here once and a while too...and hey, if you are just passing through...why not take the poll. Come on! I'll go first. No-one will know...I won't tell. It will be our dirty little secret.

Don't Be Afraid Mom!

2007-08-16T09:41:00.000-07:00

Show no fear! I will try to keep this rated R...not XXX...it will be difficult, but I think I have it in me! Remember sex is funny...LOL...3D cum-shots...LOL...Look out world!

When the World is Puddle Wonderful

2007-08-14T07:40:00.001-07:00

The Monsoon has been on most of the summer, giving Sedona and the surrounding rain shower after rain shower. There is just something about lightening that stirs my insides. Gratefully, the thunderous storms bring the temperature down and beautiful rainbows become a daily occurance. I took this pic yesterday on my way home from work. I wish that I could've gotten far enough away from those stripes of color to take in the entire arch, it was huge.

The End is in Sight...With a Telescope

2007-08-07T11:30:00.000-07:00

I have been feeling inspired with my writing. Maybe it comes from setting a deadline to have the frinkin' book finished. At last. Sorry to be such a procrastonator.

I have chosen September 1, 2008. For those of you who went to art school like me, that gives me a little over a year. You are probably all saying...at last, at last, a deadline. I know I am. I have spent the past four years being all willy-nilly, working here and there, but not spending enough quality time on my writing.

When I first left NYC and thought I could write full-time, I had about six months of not 'working' and only writing, but I think I was too traumatized from moving from friends and family and living back in Spokane to really write in a focused manner. That is why the short stories worked.

But now, I have a three hour a day plan. It seems like a lot of time, but if I can get those three hours hours in I believe I can make progress. So really, it is about six to eight months to finish the novel, and another four to six to edit.

And then woosh...off it goes to be published. If it would be so easy. Here, in this blog it does sound easy. Write, edit, send out. I wouldn't have spent the past four years working on my book if it were that easy.

But this week...this week, it seems possible and I am gonna hold onto that thought with both hands.

Liked this quote!

2007-08-07T11:13:00.000-07:00

Always remember....
when life hands you Lemons,
ask for Tequila and Salt and call me over!

Mom's New Venture...Coffee Merchant?

2007-08-04T08:53:00.000-07:00

Mom's speaking coffee! Yes, J. Rose has spent the past few months developing a website to sell her own java. They sell excellent fair traid bird friendly coffees. Everything from you traditional smooth roast to those hard to find gourmet grinds. Check them out at Coffee Spoken Here!

Mom is really psyched. Not only did she make a website, when a year ago she barely knew how to turn a computer, but she designed the logo and did the research. I'm so proud of her. Go mom!

"Tits Down, Ass Up"

2007-08-03T13:06:00.000-07:00

Do you think tattoos are sexy? Well, I do. Love that color on skin! My story "Tits Down, Ass Up," is now available for your reading pleasure at A Dirty Book is Rarely Dusty, my erotic writing group at gather.com. Come and join the fun.

"TD,AP" is about a rockin' tattoo artist and her client who likes a little pain with her sex. It's hot, fun, and well worth a read, so take a look.

Love this pic? Suicidegirls is a cool website with hot alternative chicks! Tatoos and piercings are super sexy! Take a look!

To Short a Visit

2007-08-03T03:59:00.000-07:00

Jay and Marcia were in town this past week and we spent a little time with them showing them Sedona. Well, Shawn did. He took them to the Airport vortex and out to see the Enchantment, gave them a tour of his restaurant too. The weather was a bit rainy, keeping things cool, but leaving the beautiful red rocks in the clouds. Still pretty, but not as vivid as normal. I had to work most of the time. We did get to have a nice dinner with them on Monday night at the Amara. Had my favorite Miso Beef, and a lovely curry couliflower soup. We hope they enjoyed their short visit.

"Lipstick" Update

2007-08-02T09:18:00.000-07:00

Hello my loyal fans! I just heard from Connie, the editor for the "Lipstick on Her Collar" anthology, and at long last, have been told, with fingers crossed, that the anthology has a November release date. Alison Tyler (Pretty Things Press) says she plans to promote "Lipstick" heavily for Valentine's Day. Yippee!

My short story "Reap What You Sew" is homage to my time spent working in NYC as a swimwear designer.

Heard of Sarah Waters?

2007-07-28T22:16:00.001-07:00

I first heard of Sarah Waters when the movie, "Tipping the Velvet," was recommended by my dear friend Marcie. She said I would love it, and does my friend know me well. It is a wonderful movie adapted from the novel by Sarah Waters. The plot has to do with lesbian love, and the discovery of feelings that one didn't know was out there. The costumes and erotic elements were wonderful...so when I saw the "Fingersmith," also by SW, available I immediately put it on my Netflix list.

I liked this story about young love, but found it to be less captivating than the first movie. This was the tale of a lady and her maid, set in the 1870's. There is a scoundrel who plots to steal the lady's money, by marrying her. He forces the assistance of a fingersmith (means thief, but with my dirty mind I had another meaning entirely) to gain the lady's trust. The two women fall in love, but neither will tell the other. There is of course a twist. Turns out the lady knew all about the plan and had her own bit of treachery planned with the scoundrel.

So the lady wasn 't so innocent as she pretended. Since she was 12 her uncle had her reading and writing erotica. Warped her mind. LOL! Well, I know its warped mine! Anyhow the dirty words and pictures made her not so sweet and when it comes time, the maid gets thrown in the asylum and instead of her. Anyhow...definitely a fun watch...although I am not sure it says much for those who endeavor to write dirty as I do.

Since I liked the SW movies I have a book on order to see if her writing holds up to the big screen. I have high hopes that it will be better than the movies...the books usually are.

Saying "Good-bye" to Harry Potter

2007-07-27T20:30:00.000-07:00

Wednesday last, we went to see the fourth Harry Potter movie, which I really liked and Shawn thought was alright. I love that as the actors get older their acting grows as well. I like the darkness of this film too. Shawn on the other hand, says the movie has lost a lot of its "pageantry." I didn't feel this, but I can see what he means in as far as there is less focus on the amazingly unusual wizarding world and more focus on the story itself. I do think that they dropped quite a bit of story, and that the movie could have been longer.

Well this got me all geared up for the book, which I was STILL waiting for. So much for pre-ordering. But it arrived Thursday afternoon in it's don't open 'til the 21st box and I immediately sat down to dive into one of my favorite tales of wizardry and magic. I would not be detoured from reading until my eyes crossed. Anything Shawn said to me I did not hear. He cooked me dinner and I ate without stopping and I read and read, but 3/4 the way done I slept. The next day I woke again, reading and reading and realized I was turning into a slug and went to the gym before my body froze in the reading position on the couch. I finished the book tonight. I cried.

I was not crying because the book was amazing. Although I did find myself feeling some of the wonder of the first Harry Potter book, I cried because it was over. I have been reading these books for 10 years and in a way it is as though I was saying goodbye to my own friends. Did anyone else feel like this...like they we being forced to sever a tie with people they knew? I am reading the Epilogue and thinking...but what happened between now and nineteen years later? I wanted to know and I guess I must leave it all to my very vivid imagination to fill in the blanks of marriages and births, and the happily ever after we are lead to imagine.

Now, I love Harry Potter, as demonstrated above. The first two books I was really into the stories. The 3rd and 4th books were okay and I liked the 6th. I really did love the 7th addition to the series, more than I thought I would. I have no real feelings of disappointment. The characters that died I could handle being dead. I guess my biggest moment of confusion was when Harry dies and is with Dumbledore in some kind of "heaven" type place and there is that hurt baby. I didn't quite get it. I had some idea that the baby represented the death of the part of Harry that was Voldimort, but mostly I was kinda weirded out by it. I think maybe I was hoping that Dumbledore wasn't dead and was disappointed that he really was dead.

I liked that Dumbedore was made more human in this book too. That he overcame the dark parts of himself to be a better person.

Another great aspect of the book was the continuation of the helping of the house elves to be made free. By setting the elves free, they had bound them to the characters in respect and love and that is a great message. There are lot great messages in the book about love, tolerance and friendship and it is a shame it must end. At least I have the remaining movies to look forward to. I have a feeling there will be more than me waiting in line to get into the theaters, for one more glimpse of the characters we have grown to love.

Finding Heaven

2007-07-17T22:13:00.000-07:00

I had the most amazing massage of my life. A jojoba buter wrap at the Mii amo Spa. At last, after working at the Enchantment for a year and a half I was allowed to partake in one of the award winning treatments at an amazingly discounted rate.

I took a recomendation from a co-worker as to what treatment I would have, and the masseusse too. I didn't really think about that the masseusse was named Ray. Until treatment day. I had worked myself into a right frenzy, thinking that I was going to have a male therapist. I really didn't want one. But luckl was with me and a woman named Ray.

Now this treatment is amazing. First your entire body is rubbed down with sea salt and oils. Yummy exfoliation massage. Then I showered and my body was massed with jojjaba butter from head to toe. Devine. Next I was rapped in sheets and heat blankets, but into a warm nuturing cocoon. I lay there, my desert dehydrated body soaking up the butter, becoming creamy smooth. Ray did cranial therapy, massaging my shoulder and head while I tried in vain not to fall asleep. When she unrapped me I was sad that it was over. It was 90 minutes of total relaxation.

Heaven.

We Love Portland!

2007-07-17T21:15:00.000-07:00

Portland Groove

2007-07-14T10:22:00.000-07:00

It's a fact. I so want to be there. But as always change and when to make a change is never easy.

We flew up last Saturday to spend time with our good friends Candice and Jason...who totally rock! God I love them.

We decided rather spur of the moment to take a vacation in Portland when Shawn was asked to come up for a job interview at Fenouil. We begged and pleaded to get time off and managed to string five days together.

The first night in, after a tearful airport reunion we went for pizza and then to check out the restaurant were Shawn had the interview. It was very busy and super fancy. Clean, crisp and very organized feeling. They had an open kitchen so you could see how well their line worked. I could see Shawn was excited. We ordered the steamed clams and had a few fancy, overpriced drinks.

We hoped on the Metro and went down to the Burnside street fair which was very cool. Much bigger than any craft fair we had gone to in NYC (Our favorite is the one in the Village at Christmas.) So we browsed the craft stalls and picked up a hat for Shawn (Check out the pic!). I gotta a pretty hair clip too. We then walked around downtown Portland, visited Chinatown.

They have a very pretty Chinese gardens in the city, which seems kinda strange, but was beautiful. Had dimsum and some really great Chinese food. We then hooked up with Candice and strolled the shops on Hawthorne street. Very cool. There was even a half naked parade by some locals...no reason really. Just because they were happy. Yeah, Portland is kooky.

The next morning Shawn had his interview at Feneui, while Candice and I went to a bakery on Nob Hill. It was a deliscious treat of pastry and conversation. We then walked around all of the pricey shops, like Pottery Barn and Crate and Barrell, dreaming of being able to load our houses with goodies. Candice and I then went to pick up Shawn and had lunch at a great Greek restaurant in Chinatown. Shawn made dinner and Candice and I went to the beer store. Yes. Beer. Store. You can pretty much buy any beer you can think of, by the bottle! Then we had a good old-fashioned drinkfest at the Kramer residence. It was just so much fun. We laughed and listened to music. Talked, hung out. It was the best night there and more fun than I have had in months.

Tuesday I had a treat. While Shawn went for his cooking interview, I got to meet Shanna, who is the editor of the anthology with the party drink themes. She is also an amazing writer. It was so cool to talk shop and get to know each other. She would be a great contact and told me that both BUST and Curve magazines are moving to Portland from California. It made me want to move to Portland even more. We went to see Ratattouie at a theater that let you eat drink beer while we saw the show. Cool. The movie was cute. We then went to a great chicken wing place and caught our mouths on fire...woah! But good.

The following day we were a bit down because we had to leave, but anticipating Mom and Steve arriving for lunch and a short visit before we caught a plane home. It was great to see them. We had some nummy Mexican food before, sadly were taken to the airport.

We still haven't heard from the restaurant, but Shawn has accepted the position at the Radisson, and I have accepted that the Radisson would be best for Shawn's career and that Portland isn't going anywhere, and neither is Candice. Two years and we can move to Portland, and I am a patient woman. It took me a few days to figure that out though. I was so psyched, so up, from being with great friends, in a city that has so much to offer. I hadn't realized how much I had missed a faster pace of life...not nearly as fast as NYC, but certainly a quick stroll, a bikride through a beautiful city.

Good day to you Martin!

2007-07-12T10:15:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday!

Happy Anniversary!

2007-07-02T18:17:00.000-07:00

Have a happy one Jay and Marcia!

Do You Porn?

2007-06-30T11:09:00.000-07:00

The July issue of O Magazine has an article dedicated to one of my favorite topics, PORN! I have to say go Oprah! I've told you before that she is my hero, and now there is another reason to worship at the alter of Oprah.

Now my husband gets that wierd little smile when I talk about how much I admire Oprah, like he's thinking, "She's cute, but she's crazy." But the woman seems to have it all and is so cool on top of it. And nice. And smart...and well, you get the picture. And now she is recommending porn.

The article, written by aclaimed sex writer, Violet Blue, who wrote The Smart Girl's Guide to Porn, is smart, fun, and acknowledges the women like to look at naked bodies having hot sex too. Women are a bit more discriminating when it comes to chosing porn, in my humble opinion, but we still like to pop in a DVD now again. Mix things up...at least this woman does and I KNOW there are others out there.

So do you porn? Oh...that sounds like some kind of new sex position...the porn...lol.

Dr. Ruths Tip of the Day

2007-06-30T10:59:00.000-07:00

Did you know June is National Candy Month? Dr. Ruth said so and if you want to celebreate a naughty evening with your hunk of love maybe a naughty x-rated care pacakage would do the trick.

Sweets and sex have never led me astray...well, the sheets will never be the same after the hot fudge, but it was well worth it!

The Naughty Candy Assortment Gift Box is packed with sexy treats like a pair of candy panties, flavored condoms, assorted female and male gummi pops, gummi handcuffs and candy lube. Also included are some old favorites with a pun: the Big Hunk, Blow Pops, Long Boys, Red Hots, Slap Sticks and Hot Lip Mints. Pick it up at the Candy Crate, this month or anytime for some sweet hot action!

Still Waiting...

2007-06-30T10:39:00.000-07:00

Why if they say they are gonna call on Friday, do they not call on Friday?

Better Living Through Chemistry

2007-06-30T10:00:00.000-07:00

By Susan Kuchinskas

Is the most oxytocin released the first time you have sex? Is less oxytocin released the more partners you have? When I get married, if we have sex frequently, will I release the same amount of oxytocin each time?

With growing awareness of the role of oxytocin in bonding has come concern about how the oxytocin response, which evolved in prehistoric times, plays out in today's complex society. At bottom, the question is, "Can my oxytocin get used up?"

The short answer is, "No."

Before the long answer, here's a very short refresher on oxytocin and bonding. It's well-documented that oxytocin helps create the bond between mother and child, especially during breast-feeding. At the same time, it makes these mothers feel very calm and happy. Human studies have shown that oxytocin increases trust and empathy in humans, and that women who feel they have good support from their spouses have higher oxytocin levels.

Oxytocin is produced in the hypothalamus, and it's used every day for a wide variety of physiological functions. Therefore, it's a completely renewable resource. Your brain keeps pumping it out.

The oxytocin release during orgasm seems to be a bit different than that released during trusting or loving interactions, because it's tied directly to the physiology of orgasm. It's very likely -- but still unproven -- that it does cause us to feel bonded to a sex partner.

This particular neurochemical response may have developed to make it more likely that a man and woman would bond after sex so that they would cooperate in rearing their children, back in the day when humans were at the mercy of predators and the elements. In these modern times, even if you have no plans for a relationship with someone you have sex with, you still may feel the bonding effect.

Some people are saying that having sex with multiple partners will weaken the oxytocin response so that, if you married, you wouldn't be able to bond as deeply with your partner. But this doesn't make sense. If you have a second child, do you then love each of them a little less? Of course not! Humans have plenty of love -- and oxytocin -- to go around.

We humans are capable of many different kinds of relationships. As long as your premarital sexual relationships are pleasant, trusting and warm, they should be good practice for the time when you find your true love.

As far as whether the most oxytocin is released the first time, my personal opinion is that it's more likely that the oxytocin release would increase over time. The first time you had sex, or the first few times, you might not have an orgasm at all. Even if you did, there might be a bit of anxiety that could mute the release. The safer we feel, and the closer to the other person, the more oxytocin is released.

There are no studies showing whether a better orgasm releases more oxytocin. Let that be your personal science project.

Better Living through Chemistry is a new weekly column that demystifies the role of neurochemistry in human behavior and society. Susan Kuchinskas writes Hug the Monkey, a blog about the science of oxytocin. Her book, "Love Chemistry," will be published by Amacom Books in 2008.

Future's Lookin' Bright

2007-06-28T19:56:00.000-07:00

The news of the moment, are Shawn's interviews. Fenouil, a French restaurant in Portland, wants Shawn to fly out on the 11th for a cooking interview for their Chef de Cuisine position. This totally rocks, because I really want to live in Portland. Close to Candice and Jason, close to mom, and North, in a beautiful city. But, isn't there awlays a BUT?

Shawn got that call we have been waiting for from the Radisson Poco Diablo Resort, in Sedona looking for an Executive Chef. This is awesome! It was his second interview and we are posative that tommorow he will be getting the offer. Although Portland is the ideal location, Executive Chef at a hotel is the ideal position. No moving, which is a definate plus...unless of course, we want to move closer to the red rocks. I do love red rocks. So the big news, the amazing news, will be posted tomorrow, I am sure...:-)

The Sedona position is also a plus for me and my work. I was chosen to take part in a succession program at the hotel. My resort wants to train me to take a position at the new properties they are in the process of purchasing and building. This of course, is a long term process and it could be two to three years before everything is completed. Over this time they want to send me to training classes, etc to prepare me for a position. Staying in Sedona would be beneficial for me career-wise as well.

Things had slowed down at work, now that Spring Break was over, but the past week it was like Spring Break all over again. Late hours, crazy people, no available rooms. Not to mention I am training two new people. Both of witch are 18 and totally young and well 18. Good kids, but arghhhh! If I don't kill them it will be a miracle.

The last two days off have been fabulous and I have done nothing but sit around on my ass and watch bad movies. And believe me, they were bad. Whatever you do, don't wath "Fur" or "Birth." Both are Nicole Kidman movies. The woman must have lost her mind to be a part of these weird-ass, unwatchable flicks. Run far away from them if you see them in the rental aisle.

That's about it...just doing nothing...too hot to go outside...:-( 105 degrees today, and way too frickin warm. Sure makes Portland sound great...

You Are My Hero!

2007-06-15T00:57:00.000-07:00

You are my Wonder Woman!

I am sorry. I thought I would be there. But things being uncertain in my life at the moment, I am here, so very far away from my dear friend. Today we celebrate the day Marcie was born, the day I am thankful for every day of my life.

Marcie, I know I am not there to eat cake, or drink wine. Or with you to sing the birthday song. I know I am not there to hug you and tell you how grateful I am for you. How happy I am that you are a part of my life, even if it seems too little, that the distance is too far, that the moments are too far apart. I apologize for not being there to hold your hand and be that shoulder to cry on through every difficult moment. I am sorry that I can not watch your girls grow and see the pride in your eyes.

My life's path is transient and constant. With every new discovery or adventure found my only regret is that you aren't there to share it with me. You are my dearest friend. Distance and time cannot change that. Nothing can change that.

I want you to know, with every fiber of my being, that you are always in my thoughts. You bring a smile to my face and I am so glad it is so. You are a beautiful, intelligent, amazing woman. Thank you for being my best friend and Happy Birthday. Happy life!

Check out that Smile!

2007-06-14T23:14:00.000-07:00

This is my cousin Dustin's daughter Fiona! She is just so adorable!

I love you!

2007-06-11T18:16:00.000-07:00

We went into the woods because we wanted to live deliberately, and that has made all the difference. Thank you for holding my hand in a circle of pine boughs and loveing me so hard I believe you.

You deserve everything on you birthday, because you have given me everything. Your heart, your soul, and your promises. Thank you for keeping them. Thank you for every word, thought and dream you've shared with me.

You are my path, my love, and everything I could have hoped for in a partner for life. Happy birthday!

Happy birthday my love!

Happy Birthday Steve!

2007-06-09T12:37:00.000-07:00

We love you!